People have been, for lack of a better term, shitting me at the moment. I’m not impressed one iota at the systematic and continual assault on my personal and professional time by an array of numbnuts, wankers and pigs. Therefore, I’ve taken a leaf out of Richard Nixon’s book and made, what I’d like to call, a ‘Shit List’. There is no order (take that as you will).
- The writers of Happy Feet, for making children think that if an animal is cute and fluffy and can do tricks then it’s ok the save their species.
- Arsonist in the north of Victoria, for making my eyes hurtsy.
- Women for generally being useless managers. There is possibly only 1 female manager that I’ve worked for (shouldn’t use past tense because I still work for her) who is an exception to this statement. My issue is women like the one who has applied for my manager’s job at my other place of ‘employment’. Please ladies, check your attitudes, jealousy, and pleather hand bags at the sliding door.
- Paul Newman, for getting in Richard’s way. And those salad dressings.
- Voluntary organisers of baby showers, farewell lunches, surprise birthdays, engagement parties, or any form of ‘celebration’ in which I have to contribute to someone I either don’t like or have not seen/spoken to/heard from in a long time. The absence IS personal.
- Telstra, for sending me the largest mobile phone bill I’ve ever received.
- Work, for making me ring up such a huge bill – I guess part of it’s my fault for having a mobile in the first place. Damn you technology!
- John Howard. ‘Nough said.
- VicRoads and Insurance companies for ruining what was initially a most liberating experience. I can not believe I have to pay that much within a space of 1 week. Just take my first born! It would be less painful.
- My fellow motorists. You all suck!
7 comments:
Can i add to list by saying that my people shit me, and I know they shit you (even though you secretly love us).
Why do they feel compelled to sit as far away from each other as possible on public transport, yet feel equally compelled to have a very loud conversation with each other during the trip?
BTW - turn off the bloody permission thing to post comments, it shits me. Hey, add that to your fucking list!
And yes, they do shit me. All people shit me.
I concur with Liz. Our people - what are they thinking? With all their loud talk of 'deflowering la' on public transport? I take only half the blame.
Yak, can I just say, I couldn't agree with you more about the 'Happy Feet' thing. We're looking after Owen's little brother at the moment and we just returned from seeing it. What a wonderful moral to teach our children. I think the movie should have the byline 'if they can dance, we should save them, if not, too bad'. There's two hours of my life I'll never get back! On the upside, there were some rowdy teenagers behind us and I did my first ever turn around 'shhh' and it worked! All the librarian training is paying off!
It's like George Dubya Bush suggesting that global warming might actually be taking effect after being informed of the diminishing numbers of the polar bears.
Come to think of it, how the hell did he not end up on the list? That's it. He's always there!
Tell me about it guys - the whole "dance as salvation" thing has been done to death. Have we all forgotten how Kevin Bacon saved a small town from dying of moral uprightness by - gasp - showing them how to dance. Don't tell me I'm the only one who's seen Footloose.
Yak, what about Rumsfeld? There are unknown unknowns, and the fact that he's a knob is not one of them
Footloose! Oi with the Kevin Bacon references already. Looks like there will need to be a revised list. Will need to add Rumsfeld, Bacon (Kevin - not the food - mmmm, bacon - not the actor), and Cheney. That's right... Cheney!
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