Just as Richmond Avenal made the transition after listening to Cradle of Filth, so too does Elmo. When Big Bird and Snuffy gave Elmo a compilation CD called ‘I’m sad because I’m dead’ on one sunny day on Sesames Street, a spark singed the inner corner of Elmo’s left eye. It began with My Chemical Romance, AFI, and Antimatter. Before he could grasp the enormity of the noise within this thin laser scored plastic, Elmo was thrown into an emotional tirade. Death Cab for Cutie caused him to weep, Funeral for Fun stirred his deep seeded hate for Gordon, and The Used made him draw blood (from Telly).
Over the last few years we saw the slow transformation from the fun-loving, fluffy red friend who had a tall black guy’s hand sticking out of his arse, to a weak, angst-ridden, ghost-like figure. There was never a Tickle Me Elmo. The doll was released by the producers of the show to backlash against his Tell All book, ‘Elmo Hates You’. The shaking was how the producers chose to announce Elmo’s drug problem. ‘Cold Turkey Elmo’ was his nickname. Amongst other the things, there were also allegations of prostitution, which incriminates several other cast members, and illegal copies of season 1,473,590 of the show (yet to be aired) selling on eBay. So sad.. no angry, no sad, no angry...Don't Touch Me Elmo - Darkened Room Sold Separately.
8 comments:
Surely there were other conversations that night. I recall very deep discussions about bunions, people who look like monkeys and how Chris can't be gay becuase he ain't got no rthymn. But Emo Elmo was the highlight.I also suspect Snuffleofflegus has made his fair share of snuff movies.
Well, there you have it Yak, I've deflowered your blog. I hope the future visitors to your site likes soggy seconds.
Uber rude. I like it.
...and sorry for blowing smoke in your face. I was aiming for over my shoulder but your fat head got in the way.
Sounds like you could've lynched the cookie monster once the munchies set in. Nice to see another familiar face in the blogosphere. I'll be sure to tune into your future episodes. Happy New Year, Yak.
The Cookie Monster? How dare you! Those allegations were scandalous, over-sensationalised, inappropriate tripe. I won’t have a bar of it. You should be stoned, stripped, redressed, then lynched, then redressed… perhaps in a nice pastel number.
pastels work for me!
Everytime I think pastel I conjure up images of 80's American Gigolo preppy types sun-tanning and buying brewskies for their frat party. Sorry, I did waste a big part of my youth reading Sweet Valley High - sad I know
Hey Yak,
I know it might be presumptuous to assume that you've read my blog, but did you get the Batmanian King character reference? Or perhaps you have no idea what I'm talking about.
Post a Comment